Body neutrality.

(...as a thing I'm trying to figure out for myself)

The more I read about bodies the more tired I get from reading about bodies. I get how people need body positivity, and how I've needed body positivity, and also that my body shouldn't and haven't been the centre of attention for that movement. It's all good. It's actually great. It's a movement I support 100%.

I've been struggling with my body image for years. I've been struggling with eating disorders for years. I've done so much terrible to myself out of both self-loathing and ignorance. Body positivity has learned me a lot and debunked so much bullshit I've thought to be true since I was, like, seven. Both in regards to my health, happiness, worth and food in general. But still, when I surround myself with blog posts and influencers and posters and slogans that are all about loving my body, I get the feeling of obsessiveness and staying in the same loop as I already did, which is wasting my time thinking about how I look. And even if it this time is loving the way I look, I'm still not here for it. Without trying to sound too fake deep: there's a lot of other things I want to think about, talk about, worry about, and give my time and energy to.

I'm at my happiest and most content when I'm neutral: when I meditate, do yoga, weightlifting, or when I'm hiking. In those situations, I don't care what my body looks like, I don't care about its weight, how it folds, and what I ate. I'm minding my own business, and I just am. And I feel that for me, that's both sustainable and healthy. When a negative thought about my body pops up in my head, I gain more from just letting it slide and switching my focus to something else, instead of screaming at myself internally about how beautiful I am.

I'm working on extending that non-self-conscious mindset, to just say "ok" or "namaste" or "fuck it" whenever this dialogue starts playing in my head. It doesn't matter. But figuring out these things take time. And for all you other babes who still need to consciously give yourself love to counteract the shitshow society is throwing on you every single day:

I get it.
Your body is worthy of love and food no matter how it looks like.
Your mental health is more important than your physical appearance.
Your emotional health is more important than your physical appearance.
Your physical health is more important than your physical appearance.
You're in charge of what you do with your body.
You can gain weight and still be healthy.
You can lose weight and still be body positive.
Diets are seriously the worst.
Food β‰  moral ("good" or "bad").

As always: I love you.